Monday, December 17, 2007

Christmas Party hum no Holiday party hum whatever...

This really does happen.

FROM: Ms.Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1

I'm happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if our General Manager shows up
dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not
this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."
The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa
at this time. Happy now?
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking didn't sign your
name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign
on the table that reads,"AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous
anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 20
begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating,
drinking and intimacy during daylight hours. There goes the party!
Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year
does not accommodate our Muslim employees beliefs. Perhaps
Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party,
or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will
that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters
Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant
women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I miss
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect
me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's
prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess
worshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your
shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our
principal dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa"
does happen to be Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own
"little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock
at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken
> hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to
keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or
not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of
death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad
bar, including hydroponic tomatoes...but you know, they have
feelings too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard
them scream, I'm hearing them scream right now!
FROM: Karen Jones, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE:Ms. Pat Smith and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Smith a speedy
recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward
your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management
has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the
afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Dan Fogelberg


I read Dan Fogelberg died today... Made me sad..... I remember the first time I heard his music I was young and living on my own for the first time in my life....

This song is one of my favorites.....He said it really happened...

He says on his web site that his voice changed after he had his tonsils out so he doesn't sing it exactly like he did in the 80's

His music always takes me back a time when life was just beginning for me...

So many memories and wishing I myself could run in to a old lover at the grocery store....Funny

He seemed to write songs that you would swear were about your life...

56(shakes Head) so young only 10 years older than me..

One never knows when we will take our last breath....

Life is precious.....




















I got a job

I got a job and at first I was so nervous thought I would vomit...but after a few patients well I relaxed and was good.

It feels good to work and do what I was trained to do so long ago.

Life has come full circle..

I am A Dental Hygienist and it feels good to actually do it after graduating in 1983!!!! Funny  how life flows....

You never know....

Monday, December 10, 2007

Nightime conversations



Me: BOYS it bedtime get in bed

I walk into the bedroom to tuck Cameron in and this is the conversation

Me: Cameron its time for bed your going to be tired and crabby in the morning and I'm not going to put up with it I told you 30 minutes ago to go to bed...You always do this....

Yes I was frustrated

Cameron: Mooommm

Me: Yes

Cameron: Can you do me a itty bitty favor?

Me: What?

Cameron: Can you lay with me for a sec..

Me:  Ok Let me fix your covers...

I start to pull his covers back to fix them and then I notice

Me: CAMERON !! Where is your underwear??? I don't want to see that naked butt( I laughed)

Cameron : MAMA I can't wear underwear its bad for my weinie.

Me: What are you talking about?

Cameron: We studied it in Health class.Tight underwear is bad for my sperm things it heats it up and I can't make babies

Me:(Laughing) Hum Well ok I can't argue with that...Maybe we can buy you some boxers.. and Free the Weiner...

Cameron:(giggles).. Ok I'll put underwear on tonight I guess one night won't hurt..

Jimmey chirstmas..the things that learn so young.....

Sunday, December 9, 2007




Tank of gas to visit the family for the day--$35.00

The kids asleep on the way back due to us playing soft christmas music which they called boring...Priceless

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Will work for Food



SO my hubby called me yesterday. AT&T told his dept that they would be phase out by December of next year..

Kind of scary...We are hoping he can transfer into another dept but it doesn't look promising...

Put a new spin in life and Christmas all together..

Ever since SBC bought AT&T things have been crappy...

AT&T is know for not being good to there employees