Monday, April 30, 2007

Zachs room

Zach loves army and always his dad decorated his room with posters from the recruiting offices and painted a few thing camaflouge and put together some model planes and hung them from the ceiling..

Zach said Daddy you rock....


Thursday, April 26, 2007


SO I went to the Dr yesterday...Partial because I fell the other day and cracked my head on the cement floor...needless to say It hurt like hell.....He sent me today for a Cat Scan.....

I have a patient to take to state board I am sharing it with another student...I hope this works out...I agreed to pay for her and the patients hotel rooms and pay the patient 100.00 I hope I pass I can't afford to do this again..

The panic attacks have gotten so bad that I haven't been sleeping well for about a month and I feel like I'm having a heart attack even though I know I'm not...and I will wake up feeling like I can't breath...

That was the second reason I went to the Dr he gave me good old Ativan and boy I feel so much better the attacks went totally away and when I take it to sleep ahhhhh I sleep all through the night..

I have to admit I never understood panic attacks but having experence them and feeling like I was losing my mind I now have way more sympathy..

My test is about 7 days or so away...

Keep me in your prayers or whatever works for you....

Sunday, April 15, 2007


"Why is it that people on a boat will wave to complete strangers on another boat, but when we're all here on a crowded elevator we don't even want to acknowledge one another?"

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

questions asked

Many of you have asked why not take my hubby and kids...Well state boards has rules very stricy and specfic rules

Patient must be 18 years olds

Patient must have a certain amount of build up in the anteriors and posteriors. 12 catches with the explorer totall and 4 have to be in the front and 8 in the back...

I have check my hubby his teeth have no build up on parents have had there teeth cleaned friends that have volunteer teeth are too cleaned

I have check a lot of people and they don't meet the specfic..

It supose to be this hard I just hate I dont have a school to help me

A hard day

I woke up last night at 2 am in a sweat all stressed out.. It's 20 something days untill my state board and still no patient...I'm at a loss...This morning I cryed alot... I tryed not to cry but it just took over me and I couldn't stop it...I hate this....I wish I had never tryed to do this....I wish I could be happy just staying at home and not working outside the home..but I can't..... I can not let myself not have a way to support myself if things happened  and my hubby wasn't in our lives or whatever reason....

But then something happen that put my sadness in perspective... I ran into my son and his friend Kevin at Walmart...

I have know Kevin since he was in the 3rd grade with Landon. He was here in DFW for about 6 hours to be with Landon...He has been in Iraq fighting and this is his second time there..

He looked different so much more older than 24...I could see it in his eyes...Eyes that have seen things not meant to be seen by someone his age.. I asked him how could he adjust to being here only 2 weeks and going back..He said I don't really..He mentioned a bad dream he had on the plane about getting blown up...he says he dreams stuff like that alot when he comes back..

I felt ashamed that I had been crying earlier about my stress when mine pales in comparison to him.. I thank him for going over there and being there so I could sit in my warm house and feel sorry for myself...

He chuckled and said its alright somebody has to do it...He got on the computer and showed me some footage that he and his friends video taped..Very scary...He also got on you tube and typed in bagdad or the type of bombs they use over there and we watched the footage... I could see his eyes change... He laughed alot and said they use humor..but the eyes they don't lie

I felt so foolish crying so uncontrollably..IT doesn't matter thought my stress is my stress and I have to live it even if it isn't as bad as his I guess...

It was good to see him bitter sweet.. I wonder if I will see him alive again....

War is so sad Nobody really wins....I guess

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Had a dream last night that I gave birth to twins a boy and a girl it felt so real the labor pains and stuff...

wait that isn't a dream that is a night mare lol lol

Impossible anyway I don't have the organs to reproduce anymore

Thank the Lord!!!!

Saturday, April 7, 2007


It's snowing in april how crazy is that...Its suppose to be back in the 80's on tuesday..

<scratches head>]


sleeping men

I have the headache from hell...not much sleep why you ask??

Because men can sleep through anything...

what things you ask...wellll

1. The dogs whimpering to go out 5 times last time coughing

3 and this is a big one...KIDS VOMITING'

yes I was up all night with a sick kiddo throwing up....can you say gross...

I ask my hubby didn't you hear him throwing up

He played dumb.....go figure lol lol lol

oh well....he is wonderful in other ways...<smile>