Monday, December 17, 2007

Christmas Party hum no Holiday party hum whatever...

This really does happen.

FROM: Ms.Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1

I'm happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if our General Manager shows up
dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not
this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."
The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa
at this time. Happy now?
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking didn't sign your
name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign
on the table that reads,"AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous
anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 20
begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating,
drinking and intimacy during daylight hours. There goes the party!
Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year
does not accommodate our Muslim employees beliefs. Perhaps
Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party,
or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will
that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters
Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant
women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I miss
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect
me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's
prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess
worshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your
shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our
principal dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa"
does happen to be Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own
"little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock
at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken
> hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to
keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or
not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of
death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad
bar, including hydroponic tomatoes...but you know, they have
feelings too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard
them scream, I'm hearing them scream right now!
FROM: Karen Jones, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE:Ms. Pat Smith and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Smith a speedy
recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward
your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management
has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the
afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Dan Fogelberg


I read Dan Fogelberg died today... Made me sad..... I remember the first time I heard his music I was young and living on my own for the first time in my life....

This song is one of my favorites.....He said it really happened...

He says on his web site that his voice changed after he had his tonsils out so he doesn't sing it exactly like he did in the 80's

His music always takes me back a time when life was just beginning for me...

So many memories and wishing I myself could run in to a old lover at the grocery store....Funny

He seemed to write songs that you would swear were about your life...

56(shakes Head) so young only 10 years older than me..

One never knows when we will take our last breath....

Life is precious.....




















I got a job

I got a job and at first I was so nervous thought I would vomit...but after a few patients well I relaxed and was good.

It feels good to work and do what I was trained to do so long ago.

Life has come full circle..

I am A Dental Hygienist and it feels good to actually do it after graduating in 1983!!!! Funny  how life flows....

You never know....

Monday, December 10, 2007

Nightime conversations



Me: BOYS it bedtime get in bed

I walk into the bedroom to tuck Cameron in and this is the conversation

Me: Cameron its time for bed your going to be tired and crabby in the morning and I'm not going to put up with it I told you 30 minutes ago to go to bed...You always do this....

Yes I was frustrated

Cameron: Mooommm

Me: Yes

Cameron: Can you do me a itty bitty favor?

Me: What?

Cameron: Can you lay with me for a sec..

Me:  Ok Let me fix your covers...

I start to pull his covers back to fix them and then I notice

Me: CAMERON !! Where is your underwear??? I don't want to see that naked butt( I laughed)

Cameron : MAMA I can't wear underwear its bad for my weinie.

Me: What are you talking about?

Cameron: We studied it in Health class.Tight underwear is bad for my sperm things it heats it up and I can't make babies

Me:(Laughing) Hum Well ok I can't argue with that...Maybe we can buy you some boxers.. and Free the Weiner...

Cameron:(giggles).. Ok I'll put underwear on tonight I guess one night won't hurt..

Jimmey chirstmas..the things that learn so young.....

Sunday, December 9, 2007




Tank of gas to visit the family for the day--$35.00

The kids asleep on the way back due to us playing soft christmas music which they called boring...Priceless

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Will work for Food



SO my hubby called me yesterday. AT&T told his dept that they would be phase out by December of next year..

Kind of scary...We are hoping he can transfer into another dept but it doesn't look promising...

Put a new spin in life and Christmas all together..

Ever since SBC bought AT&T things have been crappy...

AT&T is know for not being good to there employees

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Happy 10th birthday Zachary

I can't belive the youngest of our family is 10...Time flies







Zachary I love you so much..Thank you for being a sweet and wonderful Son



Sunday, November 18, 2007

This is the last time



This is the last Thanksgiving for me....!!!!

Being that I come from divorced parents and My oldest son has divorced parents and his wife has divorced parents...Is your head spinning yet..


I told my Dad and Sue we would come down to visit since the boys are off all week. Sue loves to have us down..

I called my mom last week and explained that we were coming down and since she was working 1/2 days we would try to spend a night or two with her.

Lately I have felt badly that we don't stay with her. We used to but the attitude she gets...

So I call her today just to verify with her that we would be down...They all live in the same town that is why we can do this.. My mom my hubby's parents and siblings and my dad and step mom...all in the same town sounds like fun huh lol

Anyway back to mom I called while I was on my walk to say hey and that we were coming down and...

Me: Mom wanted to let you know Aaron(my sisters youngest) was coming with me.also.

MOM: When are you coming down.??.(I have already discussed this with her but she never remembers)

Me: Monday morning


now by the tone in her voice I can see she thinks were going to be with her all week and she isn't happy about it...yes mom always makes me feel so wanted...

Me: Mom were not staying with you the whole week

Mom: oh (the sound of relief in her voice)

It hurt my feelings. but I didn't say anything...

So basically I'm done...I will have Thanksgiving at my house for my family from now on and if anybody wants to come fine..

I'm 46 freaking years old and I'm damn tired....

I have bent and twisted for divorce parents, x-husbands and in laws..

No more...

you see they are never happy.(except for a few).. No matter how inconvenience we are somebody gets mad disappointed etc

So there you have it.

Frankly I'm tired and being everything to everybody.. I can't do it anymore I wont do it anymore...

I hate the holidays...not what they stand for but the stress it brings...

Friday, November 16, 2007

teenagers ugh!!!




We were at a local restaurant to night. It was noisy a little but festive.. My hubby and I were talking about his job and chatting the kids were there also..

My hubby looks at me and say oh Billy sent me this text.. he hands me his phone just so I can see and no one else..The reason for this is his work buddies are always sending him stupid dirty guy texts if you know what I mean.. The one he showed me was a cute and funny one...So I laughed out loud which got my oldest attention...and the conversation continued like this

Cameron: What are you laughing at

Me: Nothing just something daddy showed me.

Cameron: I want to see

Me: no you can't its adult stuff and your too young to see.

Cameron: (arguing playfully) I'm old enough

Me :NO your not

Cameron: I'm a preteen ( he says with confidence)

Me: A preteen isn't old enough

Cameron: I'm almost an adult I'm a PRE adult..

Me:( I laughed..I had to hand it to him it was creative) Sorry dude still not old enough

Cameron: HUMF


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Who ya looking at!! LOL



Hunting Flies
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting Flies," he responded.

"Oh!, Killed any?" she asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Thoughts to ponder



Worrying is like rocking its something to do but you don't go anywhere.

Get a plan be proactive in your life....Come up with a plan...

If you learn from your mistakes its tutition if you don't its just penalty.


Monday, November 12, 2007

Feed the nations


I was over at mosie journal mycountrylife

she was talking about a website she goes to so I went to look and the boys and I started playing the vocabulary game together and then we started playing to see how many grains of rice we could get.. we got somewhere over 1000.  If was fun and they learned new words ...and dang so did I...Take a gander over there and THANKS MOSIE

2nd place

Cameron team got 2nd place in the playoffs he was excited about getting a big trophy

Hubby Cameron And Zachary!!

Good job Cameron !!!

parade fun

Here is me do I look excited

parade fun

Veterans... We thank you!!!

Monday, November 5, 2007

A big Thank You

A big Thank You to Mike everybodies favorite Chiropractor..

Why am I thanking him...Because he help me with my resume and poor thing did it with minimal bitching lol lol

So heres kisses to you Mike...

The cranky professor

click here->       Thecrankyproffesor 

Be prepared to laugh a funny Dog story I found on the blog by a english professor I subscribe to

Sunday, November 4, 2007

who ate the string cheese

My hubby went to the store for groceries ....

I made for supper chicken and stuffing with peach turnovers for desert

My kids accused me of trying to kill them they made gagging noises as I made them eat a bite of everything

Yes my kids are weird they like crap hot dogs bolognea etc..which isnt so werid but them they will eat there weight in cottage cheese

I know cottage cheese which I would totally understand if they didnt like but they do

Go figure..

I went to the refrigerator to get a piece of kraft string cheese which I love..

There is one piece left..

hubby bought the string cheese this afternoon.

ME: Who ate all the damn string cheese.

Hubby: Dang  there was 12 in that package.

Cameron:(looking like the cat that ate the canary) I only ate 5....

Hubby: 5!!!!

Me: Well I get the last one...

I walked away and thought oh yeah I ate some earlier today I forgot oh well

nobody needs to know...(snicker)


Angel kitty hiding out...Bad place to hide kitty



Changing of the time

Here is the ballpark Cameron played all his games at it is very nice and has a playground right in the middle of the park with all the fields circling around it.

I love it when the time falls back...ITs like the time change in the spring makes my body off for months untill it changes back...

I wish the time never changed  myself...

Cameron on the cubscouts camping trip fishing..This is Lake Ray Roberts in Texas

Saturday, November 3, 2007


So I took my resume to a freind she when over it and we found ways to make it better..

I typed it up again revamped it and it took hours..

Now I'm not good in microsoft word..

It came out looking so good except the second page..somehow there is a column that wont let me type and it has messed up the second page so it doesnt look like the first..

I have tried to figure it out and can't ...

So hell I dont know I guess I will have to retype the whole thing in a different type system who knows

Anybody good on Microsoft word??


Friday, October 26, 2007

All I can do is keep breathing..and thats it!!!

I love this show and this Singer Ingrid Michaelson...sometimes in life all you can do it to breathe................

I put this entry in because I love this song but now I feel exactly like this video..

Like all I can do is brearhe..That is all the energy I have.Cameron's progress report wasn't husband is going through amidlife crisis or something and we seemed to be arguing a lot..Or translation I'm talking he isn't listening..

I want to get in my car and leave...Just leave...I'm tired and frankly I don't have the energy to be the one who does all the parenting...

I hate this feeling...feeling of being overwelmed and hitting my head againist the wall.

Thump Thump Thump ...You hear it...good cause I feel it...


Monday, October 22, 2007

please read

I went to this site after I got the email through a group I belong to.. It looked kosher to me so check it out...

 Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is
 having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet
 their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an
 underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and
 click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle).

 This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors /advertisers use
 the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for

 Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.



a wreck

My mom had a wreck on Saturday leaving my house to go back to hers which is about 2 1/2 hours away.

It was her first wreck ever and she is 65.

She called me on her cell phone and hubby and I jumped in the car.She was very shook up..

Found her on the road just out ot town. It wasn't her fault..but she hit a Hummer so her car was damage pretty bad.

We had to take her home yesterday her car had to be towed so we were on the road 4 1/2 hours..

I did sell some Christmas Wreaths for Zach and his cub scout Pack so I killed to birds with one stone..

The wreaths are real so I love the pine smell.

Moms neck was bothering her and she is going to the Dr today..

I felt so bad for her....

I'm glad she and lady is ok thought.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

coversations With the zach man


I go to pick up Zach from school and we had this conversation.

Donna: Hey zach zoo how was your day today

Zach: Good!!!! we went to the opera on field trip

Donna: Oh that's right you DID go to the opera how did you like it??

Zach:<sighs> It was good I liked it <He pauses> but..

I couldn't understand a thing they were saying!!!..

Donna :Laughing><That is because they were speaking another language.

Zach:OH wow so that's why.....What language were they speaking..??

Donna: I don't know I wasn't there but maybe Italian

Zach: That makes sense...



Funny boy I just love him...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

This grossed me out

A seventh grader in Florida recently won her school science fair by proving there are more bacteria in ice machines at fast-food restaurants than in toilet bowl water.

Conversation of children

My hubby brought home his work van because he had to go out of town..

Of course when Zach saw it he was excited dad never had brought home the Van before

My next door neighbor son Jon who is 7 was just as excited..

They ask if they could get in it...

My hubby said not in the back but you can sit in the front seats..

So they went about giggling, pointing at stuff pretending to be driving

Playing with the windows rolling them up and down.<they are manual windows AKA old fashioned lol >

About the time Jon got the window rolled all the way down his sister walked by who is 12 and this was the coversation

Jon: Bailey look at this van isn't it cool

Bailey:<With a bored teenager look on her face> Jon its just a Van whats the big deal

Jon: Look it has windows that you don't have to push a button to roll down watch this.


He begins to show her how he is rolling down the window..

My hubby and I start laughing because we realize he has probably never seen a car that manually rolls his short life...

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Our greatest fear

This poem I think is best read out loud so your ears and mind can take in the strength of the words.
Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson
it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Wish I had the guts to do this

Ok I got this from my dad and I listen...I laughed so hard...

i don't think I would have the guts to pull this off...but the guy that did...

just listen....

Monday, September 17, 2007

This just in

This just in...

Well about 3:00 pm I got my results on my Dental Hygiene State


I PASSED !!!!!!

And <drum roll please>

 I passed with a grade of 100

You only have to make a 75 to pass so I rock it..

I am so psych about this ....I have waited 25 years from when I gradutate in the way early 80's...

Life happened and I didn't get to complete the last part and I just gave up over time...

When I got in my 40's and with a friends support I decided what the heck....

So a year and a half later and many thousands later in the hole lol...

I did it and YES it feels great.

If I say so myself

Donna In TEXAS RDH.<Registered Dental Hygiene>

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Who got there hair cut

Who got there hair cut

who....who who who who


Ok I used to wear my hair like this about 3 or 4 years ago.... I got this hair brain idea to cut it off again.. honestly it feels better but I don't like it.!!!!!....

 I feel like I look older and like a boy..So I'm letting it grow out...

The kids said oh you look like mimi ....ugh I don't want to look like my mom....Sorry mom but its againist the lol







Friday, September 14, 2007

Would you steal it

This is a website of a guy who dropped wallets around town and video tape peoplewhen they found them to see if they would turn in the wallets or steal them

I thought it was interesting.

Would you steal it or turn it in with everything in tact.....

Me I would turn it in....I would want someone to do the same for me...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Where have you been?

I have been MIA lately so sorry. I went this last weekend to take my state boards again and frankly I just couldn't stop stressing just a little.

Everytime I started to make an entry I got distracted. Paula I'm So Sorry I didn't get to see you but I was with another Dental Hygienist sharing a patient and we had one car..

I do plan on seeing you again but when it is a relaxed

I totally kick butt on my state boards and if I don't pass this time well I will do something else. I know that I just have to let God lead me in the way he wants me to go...

Kids are back in school and I miss them sort of lol

My hubby just celebrated 10 years with ATT I can't believe he has been there that long.

Yesterday it felt like fall here. Reminded me of High School and my band days...

Well I hope all is well with each one of you.


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

birthday entry



Cameron: mom how do you make eggs?

Me: Eggs?? What kind of eggs? Scrambled eggs?

Cameron: yeah

Me: Well you take two eggs break them put them into a bowl and then you take a fork and beat them up...then you put them in a pan to cook..Why are you wanting to know

Cameron: < looks at me with a frustrated look> Oh man thats too hard.. I wanted to make you a birthday breakfast...

Me: oh Sweetheart that is so sweet than you even thought to do it..That right there is present enough for mom..

Me: I love you Cameron..

Cameron: Love you to...

So this morning I didnt get my eggs in fact cameron was hard to get up...

but the thought of his sweet love stays with me today...

Cameron mom thinks you Rock


So Happy Birthday to me today I am 46...doesnt seem so old when you get here


Monday, August 20, 2007




So it has been a while sent Shelby's passing to Kitty heaven.. I think of him still but it doesn't hurt as much..

I now realized how much stress Shelby had put on our lives with all his urination and pooping where ever for the last 2 years...

Putting the wood floors helped in the end..nevertheless

Zach still talks about shelby and how he misses him

we had this conversation

Zach: Mom I still miss Shelby

Me: you still miss shelby? I do to

Zach: I talk to him at night

Me: you do?

Zach: I ask God if I could talk to him and he lets me. I tell Shelby that we miss him still and we love him <a sad look in his eyes>

Me:oh honey that is sweet you miss him..I am glad you get to talk to him..Tell him I love himm

Zach: I already do momma and he misses you

Me:<Sad Sigh>


We were all sitting around watching home videos..

my sister,hubby,neice,nephew,and my kids..

We were watching Cameron at 6 months and he was in my grandmas lap trying to chew on a newspaper...finally Aaron my nephew said

Aaron: What is Cameron chewing on? Is it newspaper

We all said in unison: It's A TV Guide

Aaron:<age13> says what the heck is a TV GUIDE?

Me: Back in the day you didn't have a button to push on the tv to see want was coming on you had to read a magazine called the TV Guide. it told you what was on every channel

Aaron: Laughing ...Your kidding me..

Me: No we not..

Aaron: Boy that had to suck

Me: well not really it was all we knew..

Aaron: Well you have a point..


I guess he had never seen a TV Guide b4....Too Funny

Saturday, August 18, 2007

duh mom

I read in people tony bennet got married he was 80 his wife was 40

it said after 2 decades of dating.

So I start thinking 2 decades 20 years...she was 20 and he was 60...then you know how your minds says is that right.?.

Then I start to doubt myself maybe a decade isn't 10 years..

I walk into the living room and say

Me: Cameron is a decade 10 years

Cameron: <says in a tone that says I'm dence>huhhhh yeah because a decagon has 10 side so its 10 years..

Me:<shaking my head thinking what the heck is a decagon I don't even remember that crap> Where does the kids remember all this crap

boy he is already smarter than me....Don't tell him that....

Friday, August 17, 2007

your freaking me out


My nephew is over spending the night

He is showing my son a website call

you ask it questions and it gives you answers

So my son says oh my gosh!!!

aaron had asked peter if he was in the room

the answer: this slide show is boring..

we were watching a slide show of randys childhood

I get up and walk over<this has peak my interest...I said ask it something else..

What color is my shirt..

it answers green

ok that is creepy...

How many people are standing in this room

It answers 5

I say <..starting to feel my skin crawl > there must be something to it..a trick

I go on the other computer and my nephew walks in and says it is a trick

He says you put a period in and type in the answer... I guess the answer doesn't show or something...

I said its a good thing I was starting to get creeped out..

So he is in there tricking the boys....Too Funny

Cameron is convinced the guy is going to come get us so he goes into the kitchen and gets a knife...

I say its a trick cameron...put the knife up silly

Cameron: it was a trick<laughing> now he is wanting to know how to do it himself..

Little trickers...

I have to admit he really got me...and I don't fall easy



Thursday, August 16, 2007

bam humbug




I am Not ready for school to start... First it rained so much we couldnt swim for over half the summer and when it did get warm I had to work...Even thought we are getting 2 extra weeks because they are moving the date to start back to August 27...It still feels like a short summer...


Tuesday, August 14, 2007


We are visiting family...and staying with my dad and stepmom.. we visited my mom also today at her house

my stepmom comes into the room laughing.. I ask her what was so funny and.....

Zach:<talking to my stepmom> Have you seen my mimi's house?

<mimi is my mother so you can keep the story straight>

Nonnie<stepmom>: yes I have she has white things in her house called dollies have you seem them?

Zach: yes I have...she<meaning mimi>lives alone she needs a pet

Nonnie: Or she needs to get married

Zach: naugh she already has been married ...she was married to your husband....


Too funny kids.. He has just figured out that my parents divorced....and my dad remarried but my mom didn't..of course they have been divorced..over 25 years..but this is all new to him

Friday, August 10, 2007






Cameron: momma how come you always get things backwards..sometimes you call me zach or landon you get confused

ME: Well honey its part of getting older you will do it when you get older

Cameron: NO I won't....

ME:< I look up slighty amuzed>

Cameron: I won't because I will put name tags on everybody!!

Thursday, August 9, 2007


Me HEY who left the washroom door open

Kids:  I didn't

Me: Well you know shelby will pee on the clothes if you don't shut the door

Kids: <looking at me strangely>

I realized what I just said and looked down

ME: Oh never mind he is not here..<feeling stupid>

Later in the day

Me: Cameron are you excited about baseball practice

Cameron: Yes very much excited but a little nervous

<Cameron has never played baseball with a team before>

Me: what are you nervous about

Cameron: I'm afraid I'll mess up or worse accidentally Fart

Me: LOL well even if you do probably wont be the only one..



Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Funny thing about death




funny thing about death...It forgets to tell your brain it happened...

I'm sure this must be how people who lose loved one ...human loved ones   but maybe the hurt is deeper...probably  way much deeper

I was sitting at the computer and I heard a sound....I thought for a split second Shelby is looking for me... then is hits... oh yeah he is not here...

The kids have been a little melancholy...

Here are a few snippet of conversations...

Zach: mom are you sad about your Shelby

Me: Yes I am very sad

Zach: me too <big sigh> I miss him

Me: yes its very hard ..

Zach: how old was Shelby

Me: 18 years old

Zach: you had him before me<stops and thinks> before all of us...except Landon

Me: yes...Shelby was there when momma was lonely and needed someone to love me..

later that night....

Zach: momma look a piece of shelby's hair...we should save it

:<feeling a stabbed in my heart> I pick up the piece of hair and stare at it...not really sure what to do with it... I lay it back down...

When I took a bath I keep waiting for him to join me on the meow for me

My long time friend called...i told her about shelby

I said it was like a 18 year marriage except...he only wanted to be fed and loved never asked for anything friend laughs and said that's better than a marriage..I chuckle and say yeah your right...

I know some people say oh its just a stupid cat get another one...

It more than that Shelby represented all my life experiences because he shared then with me...he was there...nobody else was

When someone you love dies a guess a little piece of you dies with them... the piece they loved so maybe I guess maybe...oh I don't know...

I told my hubby today Shelby's death and the sadness I feel is like a wound that's been scrap open again....A wound call death that I have been through before...with people and other pets..

A reminder of my own come perhaps...



Zach: momma

Me: yes baby

Zach: I know when you go to heaven Shelby will be there to see you.....He will be happy and he wont be sick can be together forever...

Me: Yes baby...forever...


He is gone

I just left my cat of 18 years at the vet to be put to sleep....

i am so sad.......

i wanted to be with him as he went through it but I couldn't I had to leave....

I'm such a coward I feel .....

for not staying while they did it.....

Forgive me shelby.... You were a great cat....thank for being around even when others in my life were not....

Tuesday, August 7, 2007



I have to put my cat of 18 years asleep

My husband is just glad the cat will be gone

That when I said I need to feel special my husband refuses to get

That my game night friends didn't include my birthday with the august birthdays and just totally forgot me but always expect me to show with a present for them

Because I do not have the guts to tell them I am hurt and that it matters to me

That My life feels empty in ways I can't understand or put to words

That my body is aging and turning against me

That people don't give me the right to be me .......whatever that is

That I take care of wealthy people who do not give a shit about me..or that I am taking good care of them...looking down there noses at me as I attend to there plastic surgery with love and tenderness...

That I have worked my ASS off for many DR's not one ever offered me a free surgery like they do the other workers....or even said thank you...for everything

That I'm going to be 46 and my husband has never ever given me a birthday party..

That I felt I was nothing without a man when I was young and now I don't....too late

That I wasted college doing what I thought my boyfriend wanted instead of being me

That my high school sweetheart bailed when I was pregant and I didn't fight him to help me take care of Landon...

That I had a child so young and never got to live my dreams...

That I didn't have the guts to adopt Landon out at such a young age so he could have a better life than what a 19 year old could offer

That I feel guilty for the above feelings because I know I would lay my life for him..

I let my son Landon live with his dad and missed years of his life because they lied about helping me out they just wanted to take him from me...

That I'm stubborn and too proud to ask for help yet the first to give help.

That my neighborhood has this stupid national night out and this people show up to get the food and never come out in there yard for another year..

That people i this town are so selfish

That I lose my temper with my children

I hate that I let people take advantage of me

I hate that for the first time I ever sttod my groudn with my friend Tammy of 18 years stopped talking to me because I politely stood my ground about my feelings  of me feeling she let me down in my time of need 

Mad that I waste years on friends and family only to realize that no one really cares about me ................


If they only know the sadness and pain my heart feels if only I could open my mouth and let the words...flow...

but I cannot.......

GOD DO YOU HEAR MY WORDS you feel my tears in my heart...

loneliness in a sea of people.....nobodies moving toward whatever they move to...


Angry that I question even GOD

That I'm pathetic

Just thoughts in my head....put on a piece of paper...................




Saturday, August 4, 2007


I was sitting at the laptop  typing away I have been gone for around48 hours straight working and dum drum tired..

Cameron walks up with a serious face and voice

Cameron: mom

Me: yes

Cameron:I have something to tell you<he says in avery serious voice>

ME: What?

Cameron: When I drink water I don't know why but I fart

Me:  <laughing> HUM ok.....

Not really knowing why I need to know this info..

Cameron: Kind of like you and cabbage...

Me thinking .....hum point well taken..

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

who do you miss

Is there a journal that no longer write that you miss????

I miss one by polysci. I believe her name was TARA she was a lawyer and funny as hell

She just stopped writing I contacted her about a year ago and she said that her boyfriend wish she would journal again...but she didnt say if she would ever journal again

her journal was The Soundtrack of my life...


aol alerts

why is it when aol alerts screw up and the reeinstate they don't pick up the journal you had and you loose people and don't know it until months later..

I know I have lost people and they have lost me....and we never know it until something triggers our memory..

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Thoughts from the Headoc

Here is a journal I read that I like...Called Thoughts from the Headoc

He is a psy Dr....Enjoy his entries and interesting observation...

They are just human like the rest of us...

I don't know how he does it day in and out dealing with people.. I would probably lose my patient and say go ahead and kill your self then just dont make a lol

See I told you I wouldnt be a good psych DR lol lol

Monday, July 30, 2007

sick of my dogs

The dogs are gone I'm done....

I just bought a beautiful bedding set I have waited 6 years for a nice set

The dumb ass chichuahuah got on there and pissed on it... I am so done with animals

I can't have anything nice....

The damn sheltie gets freaken hair everywhere

And my stupid 18 years old cat peed on the carpets so badly that we had to rip up all the carpet in my house and replace it with hard woods..The bathrooms still have cement because he wont use his litter bos anymore because he is so old

I do not have the money to keep replacing everthing I have just for these stupid animals..

NO I am not a animal hater I have had animals my whole life..

I'm just tired of the abuse they do to a house and don't have the income to keep replacing things anymore...

I put an ad in the forum in our town maybe someone will bite.

If not its off to the shelter ...its a no kill shelter....

I'm done and I'm tired of hearing my husband bitch about the animals all the freaking time.

Plus he is too much of a weakling to do anything but bitch about it...

I'm the only one who feeds them picks up there poop. clean litter boxes.

DO  you want an animal let me know

chica the chichuahuah

My new comforter I just bought she pissed on all the way through to the mattress

I don't know what the hell is wrong with her. she is train to ring the bell and everything we were in the house...when she did she has no excuse.


The sheltie who is ok but gets hair everywhere

and then there is the 18 year old cat whom I need to put to sleep..

I hate this shit...!!!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Damn it

Got our irs refund.. It was half of what it was supposed to be... I thought crap what happened..

Said one of my kids didn't match the social security number...

I check and sure enough I was one number off...

Damn brain fart....!!! lolol

Anyway monday have to call Irs and chat with them

Should be a blast NOT!!!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

high school old friends




Lately I have been contacted or contacted myself old high school friends..

Feeling nostalgic I guess or longing for a connection....a meaning I don't know..

It's been nice.. I had one guy contact me through my space and I couldn't remember him so I pulled out the old year book...before  I found his picture I stumbled upon something I had forgotten about from and old high school sweetheart...

Flipping through I found this


There is no way I can write my exact emotions toward you. You have been to me, like rain to a forest.<ok I know dorky but so sweet as I read it now>lol

You have been my first real girlfriend and I wouldn't be disappointed if you were my last. It's not going to be easy to stay together as our lives drag us apart.

You probably can't read this and when you look back at it in 20 years you still won't understand....< This yearbook is my 1977 year book its been 30 years> But if we do drift apart I want to thank you for filling the best part of the best year of my life.< we were together 6 years I think>

you mean everything to me and what this whole feeble attempt at a message is supposed to say is that I love you and always will



Isn't that sweet..his handwriting was crappy so I summarize. I wander how heis doing? If his life was good...If being a DR Paul Borgfeld was what he thought it would be...

I wish him love and happiness and I hope he found it...

 And Paul I thank you for being a sweet guy.....when I needed one


He was my first love and my first many things in life...

ahhh sweet memories.....Young love...

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Plastic surgery



When people find out I take care of Plastic Surgery Patients...things happen questions get asked...

1. They look at me and scan my body...<like I don't notice> to see if I have had plastic surgery...

The answer is no I haven't had plastic surgery and if you saw me naked it could be verified...and no you cant see have to take my word for it...

2. They ask me if I get a discount...No I don't but I wish I could.

Dr are not that generous or I should say most Dr's

3, Then they ask me questions about surgery the pain recovery and stuff.

I don't spare any details or sugar coat it..They grimace lol lol

4. They ask me why I haven't had plastic surgery...I tell them it HURTS...

Those show don't show the extreme pain you will endure. I watch people go through the pain so not in any hurry to be in pain...2nd reason I don't have 15 thousand dollars or more laying around to blow on the surgery and probably never will..

5. They look at me and say I bet that is a interesting job.... Interesting???....Well if you like taking care of wounds,blood, and the general smell a hospital and bodies can give you ..mike be called interesting plus listening to patients complain about the surgery they just volunteered for and have them take it out on you...I guess you could call it interesting also lol lol

Some days I call that torture <smile>

I'm always happy to answer plastic surgery questions if I can... of course I don't know it all and don't claim to...

I do find it very interesting how they can take a person and make them a 10 or 20 year version of there former self...I guess sometimes I do get a twinge of wishful thinking it was me but then there is the pain part again...

However no matter how young the outside looks the inside is still the age you are...

Kind of a trickery in a way....

I guess people don't mind getting older if they didn't have to look it...

I do meet some interesting people...Nobody really famous yet...or famous to me anyway.

I guess the main negative thing about my job is I always see people in pain  at there worse and looking pretty beat up...I never get to see them when they get to the other side all healed up and really looking pretty....I never get to see them happy

That would be a nice change......<SMILE>

bugged eyed day


I went to my yearly eye exam at the Dr. I had lasik about 2 years ago and I have to go to a yearly exam to get up the warranty so to speak..

No biggie I thought....Never think that.. I did all the checks is it 1 or 2 better crap.

Then she put drops in my eyes to dilate which I hate but no worries they now have drop to un dilate them..

As I sit my vision gets worse as they dilate which is normal...

The Doc looks at me eyes and looks great your a tad near sited but that is way you don't need reading glasses...I think ok I guess.

I get up to walk out and say of yeah I need the drops to un dilate my eyes..

The girl says oh the manufacture stopped making them..

What!!! That sucks I say...

She say yeah everybody is pretty bummed about it... I guess they didn't make money.

I look at her and say well damn it...

She laughs..

So I think ok a couple of hours I will see better how bad could it be..

Holy crap I think she gave me the ultra strong drops 3 hours later my head hurt like hell from the sunlight with sunglasses on..

I finally just took a nap thinking it would be better.

I woke up and they had gone down some but not enough...

The kids said I look creepy with the big black eyes...

ok that makes me feel better

good morning


SO its morning and I'm not a morning person never have been. When I was young I would be all grouchy and stuff but now i just smile and be quite.

I have learned that just because I'm all grouchy doesn't mean I should spew it on other people.

besides just the dogs are up and they don't care what I say anyway :-)

Yesterday I took the kids to the community pool. We have lived here 6 years and did I know a soul....Nope...

I hate our town and wish I could move....but the communte is already bad for the hubby

They say our town is the happening place... I guess if your into gucci, hummers keeping up with the jones...which I am not and never will be.

I so need a cup of coffee...ttyl

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Does your name fit

Got this from
Does Your Name Fit ??
A: Hott
B: loves people
C: great friend
D: can kick ur butt
E: has gorgeous eyes
F: wild and crazy people adore you
G: very outgoing
H: crazy
I: loves to laugh and smile
J: is really sweet
K: cute
L: good kisser
M:can be funny and dumb at times
N: easy to fall in love with
O: has one of the best personalities ever
P: popular with all types of people
Q: good boyfriend or girlfriend
R: has a smile to die for
S: makes people laugh
T: very good kisser
U: is very sexual
V: not judgmental
W: very broad minded
X: never let people tell you what to do
Y: is very sexual
Z: makes dating fun
D:Can kick ur butt
O:has one of the best personalities ever
N:easy to fall in love with
N:easy to fall in love with
Well I guess it fits lol lol

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

oh blessed bedtime

Bedtime...such a fun time here at the ole house...

My kids get this burst of energy from no where...

I need a drink I need a kiss...

mama can I sleep on the couch..

Or mama I'm alone in my room..

Well I say you were alone in your room for hours playing your video game so what is the difference..

I just get the know the face....your kids give you lol

ticked off tuesday


So got this from nae who got it from so and so and so...anywayITs called  

Ticked off tuesday...

1. To the moron mom who let her 4 year old scream a piercing scream for 20 minutes in target and 15 minutes in line....solid....You deserve your ass beat.....come on take the kid outside..or better yet get off the cell phone and go home...I listened to her scream throughout the store as I quickly got my stuff and then when I got up to check out there she was.....

All the checkout lines were crowded. Everytime someone pull up to the one she was in they made a face and a u turn....

I eventually gave up and left my basket ..

 I couldn't take it... I wan't the only one....

What is it with young parents these days???

 what happen to making your kids mind or removing them from the source of frustration...

when my kidswere little and acted up i gave myself 5 minutes tops to get them quite if not...we left why should I ruin someone eleses shopping trip....


Is it me or does it seem that that people have less manners and consideration these days...

Or hell maybe I;m too old for this crap




Today started out yucky even in my sleep..

I was dreaming a awful dream and was awoken to the sound of my cell phone screaming jungle boogie in my ear.

I scramble and answer and a loud shrill voice also known as my mothers voice is saying

Did you call Freddie???

I look at the clock its 8:30am....

My mom says oh did I wake you? I'm thinking arrgghh

I say no mom I haven't call him but  I will...

Then I get a call from someone looking for one of my husbands sisters..

I tell them why are they calling us and they say our number was given to find her..

I'm thinking WTF....

I said she does not and has never lived her she lives in an other town..

The girl was apologic and asks if I will give her the info on a legal matter...she gives me a case number and phone number...

Irritated the hell out of me..I called my husband abd gribed to him about it...

I said we don't need one of your worthless sisters crap....

.My own sister has done this to me also and I find it very rude to give my name and info  out without asking permission first

I tried to get the kids to go swimming nopr don't want to go...

so cleaned the kitchen a big whoop there...

Anyway...the day hasn't started well maybe it will get better...

we will see

Sunday, July 22, 2007

what a difference airbrushing makes


jezebel website shows us how they take the picture and change and air brush'

yes faith is pretty just ticks me off they them natural...

boy in a bubble



Cameron and I decide to take a walk our neighborhood...

Cameron: I wish I was a boy in a bubble

Me: in a bubble why?

Cameron: just think it would be cool

Me: you would never get to hug your mom or get a kiss from her because of the bubble you couldn't risk getting germs

Cameron: We could hug through the bubble.

Me: yes but what fun would that be and what about girlfriends

Cameron: Girlfriends?

Me: yes if you got married you couldn't kiss your wife or even have sex...

Cameron: MOM!!!!!  stop saying that word

Me: which word sex..

Cameron: I said stop it I hate that word

Me : sex sex sex <giggles>

Cameron: mom I not listening to you I'm not interested in that kind of stuff

Me: Well one day you will and you will be glad your not in a bubble but I will probably wish you were <Laughing>

Friday, July 20, 2007

did you miss me

So I have been gone for many days.. I took care of a patient for 150 hours....yup was nice and she was very nice.... I miss sleeping in my bed and next to my hubby

I missed my kids also...

Will write more later and check up on e-mails...I have been without a computer for a week...


Sunday, July 15, 2007

work work work

SO I broke down and bought a new scrub set.. I thought it was cute with the pink and stuff hope it doesnt shrink when I wash lol

I took care of a patient thursday through saturday straight...yup 48 hours....she was very nice so I didnt mind..Its the weird ones that bother me...because your with them long periods of time without a break..

She called me today and ask if I could come back monday and stay through wednesday...I said yes..I have to grap the jobs when I can get them because there are dry spells....

Bad thing is when I'm stuck in a room for so long I constanly eat too much..Patient sleeping and sometime hours on my hand to be there if she needs me...

I can't believe that school is around the has rained so much here we haven't gotten to swim much...

the kids and I were playing around with the camera the other night at bedtime so here is a few goofy pictures

Cameron got so tickle he couldnt stop cute


Or goofy faces....hum I look all wrinkley lol

This was supposed to be serious pose...they fooled me....HA!!

Hope all is well in your world


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

My hubby

I love this song... I think of my husband Randy everytime I hear it...

To Randy I loved you before I met you and I will love you forever

Your wife and best friend,