I woke up last night at 2 am in a sweat all stressed out.. It's 20 something days untill my state board and still no patient...I'm at a loss...This morning I cryed alot... I tryed not to cry but it just took over me and I couldn't stop it...I hate this....I wish I had never tryed to do this....I wish I could be happy just staying at home and not working outside the home..but I can't..... I can not let myself not have a way to support myself if things happened and my hubby wasn't in our lives or whatever reason....
But then something happen that put my sadness in perspective... I ran into my son and his friend Kevin at Walmart...
I have know Kevin since he was in the 3rd grade with Landon. He was here in DFW for about 6 hours to be with Landon...He has been in Iraq fighting and this is his second time there..
He looked different so much more older than 24...I could see it in his eyes...Eyes that have seen things not meant to be seen by someone his age.. I asked him how could he adjust to being here only 2 weeks and going back..He said I don't really..He mentioned a bad dream he had on the plane about getting blown up...he says he dreams stuff like that alot when he comes back..
I felt ashamed that I had been crying earlier about my stress when mine pales in comparison to him.. I thank him for going over there and being there so I could sit in my warm house and feel sorry for myself...
He chuckled and said its alright somebody has to do it...He got on the computer and showed me some footage that he and his friends video taped..Very scary...He also got on you tube and typed in bagdad or the type of bombs they use over there and we watched the footage... I could see his eyes change... He laughed alot and said they use humor..but the eyes they don't lie
I felt so foolish crying so uncontrollably..IT doesn't matter thought my stress is my stress and I have to live it even if it isn't as bad as his I guess...
It was good to see him bitter sweet.. I wonder if I will see him alive again....
War is so sad Nobody really wins....I guess
Posts
6 comments:
I couldn't agree more war is utterly futile
is the patient you are looking for someone to demonstrate on for your test?? Why not your husband or one of the kids??
Donna, I miss you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs Lisa XO
I feel so sorry for the people over there in that stupid war, and now they just extended their tours for fifteen months. There are too many good people getting killed, not to mention all the civilians that are getting killed. I really upsets me.
Still, that doesn't mean that you don't have stress and pain in your life sweetie. It is not a contest. Life is difficult.
love, Kas
God bless and be with that young man and all our troops! Have you advertised in a a local paper? Church bullitin boards? If all else fails, kipnap someone off the street on your way to the boards. ;o) - Barbara
Very true about the war! All of us need to keep all of them in our prayers. Hope your test goes well. Blessings, Janie
Post a Comment