OUR SHELBY
funny thing about death...It forgets to tell your brain it happened...
I'm sure this must be how people who lose loved one ...human loved ones but maybe the hurt is deeper...probably way much deeper
I was sitting at the computer and I heard a sound....I thought for a split second Shelby is looking for me... then is hits... oh yeah he is not here...
The kids have been a little melancholy...
Here are a few snippet of conversations...
Zach: mom are you sad about your Shelby
Me: Yes I am very sad
Zach: me too <big sigh> I miss him
Me: yes its very hard ..
Zach: how old was Shelby
Me: 18 years old
Zach: you had him before me<stops and thinks> before all of us...except Landon
Me: yes...Shelby was there when momma was lonely and needed someone to love me..
later that night....
Zach: momma look a piece of shelby's hair...we should save it
:<feeling a stabbed in my heart> I pick up the piece of hair and stare at it...not really sure what to do with it... I lay it back down...
When I took a bath I keep waiting for him to join me on the ledge..to meow for me
My long time friend called...i told her about shelby
I said it was like a marriage...an 18 year marriage except...he only wanted to be fed and loved never asked for anything else...my friend laughs and said that's better than a marriage..I chuckle and say yeah your right...
I know some people say oh its just a stupid cat get another one...
It more than that Shelby represented all my life experiences because he shared then with me...he was there...nobody else was
When someone you love dies a guess a little piece of you dies with them... the piece they loved so maybe I guess maybe...oh I don't know...
I told my hubby today Shelby's death and the sadness I feel is like a wound that's been scrap open again....A wound call death that I have been through before...with people and other pets..
A reminder of my own death.to come perhaps...
Zach: momma
Me: yes baby
Zach: I know when you go to heaven Shelby will be there to see you.....He will be happy and he wont be sick anymore...you can be together forever...
Me: Yes baby...forever...
Posts
12 comments:
Awwwwww Donna (((((((((((((((( Donna ))))))))))) Hugs to you Lisa XO
Zach is a smart little boy and he is trying to comfort you I think. paula
Don't discredit your pain. Yes, the death of a loved one is painful and is sometimes painful for years, human or not. Cat or dog, bird or rat, fish or snake. It hurts, and the funny thing about grief is that it is essential to acceptance. My heart goes out to you. One day your reflections will be without tears. It is a long road that you travel alone, but I promise you will get there. Take care, MeMeadow
You've got quite a son, he sees your pain and is trying to help you. What a blessing he is! I'm so sorry about Shelby, he was gorgeous. It was a long journey for you both together filled with everything inbetween, so can understand your sadness. I remember losing our dog and how painful it was to my mother. She was protecting my mother from a stray dog and when she crossed the road to come back home was hit. She did not make it. The gentleman was a big burly guy, but when he saw my mother shaking with tears - he lost it too. We all cried that day with her and for the loss of our Shannon. She was an airdale terrier and beautiful and smart. Grief can certainly bind us together or tear us apart, and there seems to be no inbetween. I am glad Zach is trying to stay close and look out for you. God Bless.
This reminds me of Mandy; I only had her for a little over a year, but there's still a gaping hole in my life that she left. She's been gone for longer than I had her, now.
Donna that is so sad ~ Zach is such a caring little boy I do love your conversations with him ~ Ally x
http://journals.aol.co.uk/ally123130585918/Lifewithally
Very sad. You did indeed lose a very dear friend...
I am so sorry...Jae
There is no "only" in love. Makes no difference. But just as a small piece of you died with him, a piece of him lives on with you. God bless and hold you through your time of grief! - Barbara
I feel your pain...I know your pain...and I AM SO SORRY.
Shelby was family.
love a,
carlene
Aww that is so sad
I'm so sorry for your loss
Hugs, marina
I promised myself I would not cry. I broke my promise.
i am so sorry about your cat. they are more then just pets. they are like little four legged people who seem to understand us a whole lot better then we can understand them.
Post a Comment