I am passed angry I am apathic...It is not good for me to get to this point. I'm done when I get to this point...
My husband doesnt get it or doesnt want to get it..
It is hard for me to write this because I know my grandmother reads it...
but it is my journal and I should feel free to write whatever I want..
I'm done....my heart is tired...
My son came in crying that a little boy had hurt him in our neighboorhood...This kid has done this over and over again..
Who always talks to the kid about hurting my kids ME. so this time I just set there..I looked at hubby and said you need to go talk to this little boy...
My hubby just looks at me and sits there...He picks his butt getting dress 15 minutes later he is still shuffling around so he doesn't have to deal..He never wants to deal with anything emotional..
I said the little boy will be gone by the time you get out there once again he picks his but as slow as he can..
I walk into the bathroom get dressed in 2 seconds and walk out the door.Hubby follows me I walk into the kids back yard and begain to talk to him.
Does hubby walk up beside me to reenforse me or support me..
Nope he does what he usually does..abandons me..
He peeks his head in the gate of the backyard which is as far away as he can get...I turn around 2 minutes later and he has left...
Yes once again as always I am protecting my kids or myself and he tucks tail and walks away...
If I had a fulltime job I would leave...not because my hubby is a bad person because he wants a roomate and friend...
I want more and after 11 years I realize I'm the only one who is in this for love....
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9 comments:
I totally understand what you are going through. I have been married for 9 years and feel that way sometimes also. You are a great Mom for sticking up for your son and attempting to get through to the other child. You are obviously a very strong person. Maybe you should try telling your husband how you feel. I know that it is difficult and I'm sure you've tried on some level, but this time make him listen. Make sure he understands how alone you feel at times. You are not wrong in this. Hold your son tight, tell him you love him and maybe even cry with him. Take care.
Karen
I don't wish divorce on anyone, but everyone has to find the path to 'love and/or happiness' that is right for them. I hope you find yours. Susan
It sounds like your husband might be the type that avoids any type of confrontations. There are two books that could help him with that. Crucial Confrontations and Crucial Conversations have helped me improve my ability to communicate when stakes are high and emotions are strong.
Chris
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/Inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings
I didn't realize that it was that bad. I wish for you to find what you are looking for! Take care Brandie
I'm sorry you are going through this Donna...I've been married 10yrs....we've been together 15yrs...I too sometimes feel like a roomate instead of a wife,somehow we always seem to work things out. I on the other hand don't have kids...but i think you did the right thing by standing up for your son, it's a shame your husband doesn't help you out in that area...I would definately talk to him about how you feel ...I hope ya'll can find a way to work things out.
Hugss..~Terri~
Tell your beautiful son this:
"My friend Russ was picked on almost every single school day. It made him a mad and resentful adult who has to take medicine for depression and has tried to kill himself three times (once nearly successfully). Now he thinks back and wishes he would have just gone all bad-ass on the bullies. They don't expect you to fight back. Ever. Rush him. Put a sneaker kick into his nuts or a finger into his eye -- break his finger. Head butt him in the gut and punch like crazy. Yeah -- you might get in trouble, but you'll save yourself from a future like mine. Beat that kid's fucking ass!!!"
And I'm so disappointed in your husband. Where is his fucking head? I need to prepare another lecture for him. Give him my email!
Love,
Russ
Yikes...well, I can say on more than one occasion Bill has left me to fend the wolves on my own. I actually don't mind it, unless it's when my Mom and I are arguing and he doesn't defend me...he claims he stays out of it so that my Mom doesn't hate him too. THANKS ALOT HUBBY!
Maybe if you tell him this is how you feel he'll start to realize he's not there for you emotionally. Go ahead, have a talk...wear something cute though.
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I am sorry.....it hurts to feel unsupported...
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