Happy new year/anniversary

 

 Wow!!!!! what a beautiful day today...it is nice and warm in the 70's I loved it...  

 I worked today but Randy was off....I'm so glad to have the kids home...they ad so much love to our life...

~~Got a big surprize today~~~~~~

I got off at 2:30 today....I walked to my car and randy and the kids were hiding in my car... I walked up to the car and saw them crouch down in the car.... I laughed and got into the car and said ...what are you guys doing in my car???

The boys pulled out flowers, cards and a gift from behind the back-seat.

They yelled ""Happy Anniversary momma ""

I was floored totally caught me off guard... I was very touched<sigh>   My life would be so empty without my family I love them so much..... Wow 10 years that's a long time.....

Happy Anniversary Honey I love you .. Life is a journey and I'm glad your taking it with me.... your wife and best friend,Donna  

 

graphics by

yadda yadda yadda

 

Got off work at 3:00 today lots of scanning merchanise....mark downs.... blah blah yadda yadda yadda....

Randy went to Wichita Falls to pick up the boys after he got off work and should be back late tonight.... it's kind of lonesome by myself...

I got out earlier to look around...stopped at stein mart and dsw shoes..no fun shopping without my hubby along..

Nothing but crap on TV tonight..think I will go take a hot bath and cuddle with a book...

Tomarrow is our anniversary  10 years...wow can't believe it....

OH last night I had the creepiest dream..I was jogging down the street <ok the jogging part is werid because I never jog..ever.... only walk fast>  suddenly I feel someone behind me I turn around and this big man grabs me and throws me on the ground....I remember not being able to move at all and then getting this feeling of a strong intution that I was about to die...I was about to be killed and then I woke up....It was so real I woke up grasping for air..

maybe someone can analyse this for me

anyway.....

Donna

 

It is finished

I was playing with my dads webcam and ask my hubby to come in and take a picture with me of course when I pushed the button he had to make a goofy face...ticked me off so I'm posting it anyway...I think he looks like a possesed creature HA!!!!! Men always got to be funny!!

 

 

 

Sitting here in the quite....Seems odd not having a child run into the room every 5 minutes.... Christmas Day we drove the kids up to Wichita Falls to visit the in -laws and my dad and step moms   On the way up there we heard from our 7 year old

Are we there yet????

How many more minutes????

How far do we have to go??? <Repeat these questions about 50 MILLION times....you get my drift HA!> In The middle of all the question asking I heard Zachary say to his brother  

Zachary: Cameron I saw Santa Clause last night..

 I immediately looked over at my husband as he looked over at me..... We both had a puzzled look on our faces wondering just here this line of conversation was going....

I smiled at randy and turn my head towards zach and said

 Me: So what did Santa look like Zach? Zachary: Well he was fat with a black belt and I saw Rudolph too!!!

Me: Did Santa see you? Zach: NO  I hid from him

Me: That was good thinking because if he saw you then he wouldn't of left all the gifts : zach smiled like the cat that ate the canary :-)   Now I don't know if Zachary dreamed this or if he was trying to impress his big brother cameron..nevertheless it was quite comical  

 

 WE spend the night with my dad and step moms.... My stepmom is a very loving and warm person ...I truly enjoy her presence in my life....When you stay at her house you leave feeling filled up with love and acceptance ... The kind of acceptance of being OK with who you are... The kids are staying at my in-laws for the week....I have to work all week and since they are out of school on Christmas break I thought my husband parents would enjoy spending time with them... They are always wanting them to come down so..I didnt feel too badly letting them stay... Well, I must get ready for work..... Hope all had a joyous Christmas.... Donna In Texas

ho ho ho

  So............ all the presents have been opened.....The look of excitement and innocent belief in my children's eyes brought a tear to mine......The yelling look mom Santa knew Santa knew!!!! I told my husband cherish this feeling because they are getting older and one day....well you know <sigh> As the children opened there presents my husband looked over at me and smiled.....that smile of the deepest love for our children and each other... And I thought yeah boys Santa came and I love him so much.... I love you Randy!!!  

Merry Christmas

I want to thank all my j-land friends for their friendships......I hope your families have a happy holiday and a merry Christmas..... Keep your loved ones close and warm.... For those who don't have there loved ones near I pray for there safe return ..... The children are now setting the cookies out for Santa clause...there excitement is contagious.. Love, Donna Guerrero  

Thank you

Thank you for all the honest and kind comments......

My family....cant wait to get a digital camera so the images will be better

 

Its funny but the comments I got being overweight werent near as harsh as when I got thin.... There were coworkers who said some pretty ugly things to me after I became thin........I realized it was jealousy rearing its ugly head.....Not really jealousy of me but what I had accomplished..... I expected some of it....however it was a very very hard surgery.....scary..painful...

at one point I had complications....so I think if they knew all I went through maybe they would of had more compassion.....or maybe not.......

Gastric bi-pass has given me a better quality of life...my health has improved....I'm able to do more.....my kids have a  mom who can run and play...my husband has a more healthier wife who will be around to grow old together with him <God willing>

What gastric bipass wont do for you....

1. It won't improve your marriage or realtionships..it can acutally make them worse..because has you get thinner you take less crap from people.....If people are used to dumping on you they won't like the new attitude.....I've seen patients get divorced because husband or wives can't handle the new changes..

3.You lose your best friend <food>

4. Your weight is not the problem  or the resons you life is the way it is........it is a result of you not handling your problems and life with food

5. Losing weight with gastric bipass is not magic you have to exercise, eat a certain way.....for the rest of your life.

6.Gastric bipass is a tool to help...You do the hard work its there to help

7. You can gain all your weight back it is not fool proof...you have to be willing to follow the rules

8.Psychotherapy will really help....It helped me because as I got thinner I would sabatage my eating because I didn't know how to handle some of the new changes and emotions I was going through......

 

####I'm speaking for myself only.........This is my

experience and some of the lessons I learned....I share only because some of you have shown an interest in the surgery. I have lots of other information if you would like e-mail me personnally and I will answer any questions you have..... I hope everyone has a great christmas....... I'm listening to a song my Mercy Me called word of GOD speak and the words are so beautiful.... so I leave you with a few of the lyrics.....   Word of God speak would you pour down like rain Washing my eyes to see your majesty To be still and know ....your in this place...... please let me stay and rest ......in your holiness Word of GOD speak   Donna In TEXAS

just me

Some people have requested to see me so here I am in all my glory in 1999 250lbs

yes very fat...This is me before gastric bi.pass surgery....If you saw me on the street would you look the other way????? would you snicker or make fun...

If you were honest with yourself and me the answer maybe yes.....

or maybe no....            but you see underneath the fat is a person......a beautiful person who is just like everyone......someone who needs love .accepctance,,understanding..Someone who needs to be seen not for the outer shell but for what is inside and what can be.....I dont speak for all overweight people only myself...... Below is a picture of me at my thinnest.... 113lbs......I am no longer this thin..I'm about 145 yes you can gain weight with gastric bipass it is not a cure all..Soory for the quailty of the pictures my scanner is not the best.... The man in the picture is my DR

lawerence barzune...a wonderful man and human being...

So there you have it me.....the good the bad and ugly......

  

IS that Snow???

Well hush my gosh by golly...it's snowing here in Dallas Texas area....I sure was hoping they would be wrong it was 70 degrees yesterday so go figure it's TEXAS:-)..

This kids are thrilled and got all dressed up to go out in the snow......Zach had on shorts and sandles..HA!!  I said noway jose it's cold outside you need pants a sock hat and big jacket...

ZACH: No I don't momma I wont get cold I'm a army man....so after 5 minutes of arguing I said alright go on out......I figure the best lesson was in the learning.....

Yep  2 minutes he was back...

ME: why did you come back in?

Zach: Its cold out there momma  <I laughed>

Me: I guess army men need big jackets huh

Zach:<blushing> Yeah momma

I have too work tonight at the hospital overnight..I hope the traffic isnt too bad when I get off tomarrow morning...

I'll let you know

baugh hum christmas music

I am sick sick too death of christmas music....Which if you know me is strange having a background in music.....

Let me explain....

You see its like this..... kohl's has musiak a station which plays in every dang store in this town.....So not only do I get to hear the music at work but every dang store I shop in....

I have the whole thing memorize..

Hey oh the missieltoe hung for you to see somebody waits for you who gives a crap not me...oooppppsss thats not how the song goes...

I love making up my own words now...I will be putting product out on the shelf singing away kind of tweaking the words and people will walk by me with that strange look....You know the look...like I'm from another planet...

Hey I have to humor myself...or the songs will drive me crazy heres a few examples of the songs:

There is the boy george disco christmas song

the funky christmas carole by who knows I guess ......beyonce

some britney spears sounding song

It's really the messed up funky ones that bother me the most the traditional ones don't bother me as bad....Think about it I've been hearing them for over a month now non stop at work and away from work...

Sometimes when I'm out in the dock loading merchandise I"ll dance a littl jig....Something just comes over me ......

I think there is a subliminal messages in the music.......Cant you hear it.....It's saying Donna

dance a jigg ...donna sing stupid words...Donna stand on one foot....I hear them the voices they call to me.....

So if you see me running out of kohls naked well the voices you see they got to me   Just kidding  sort of....:-)

Hope everyone has a great christmas

Donna In TEXAS

 

rudolph oh rudolph

 

I was watching T.V. tonight.....I noticed Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer was coming on....HUUMMM I thought this is great I will ask the kids if they want to snuggle on the couch and watch it with me.....

I love watching videos with my kiddos with the fire going and a big soft blanket.....

I hollared at the kids and it went like this....

Me:  CAMERON and ZACH come here

Me: Hey guys...are you listening come here

CAMERON: What momma...

ME: Hey guess what is coming on TV??

Cameron:<silence>  What???

ME: Rudolph the RED nose reindeer do you want to watch it with me??

Cameron: Which one?

Me: What do you mean which one Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer

I thinking gee what the heck ..I loved rudolph>

Cameron: which one mom the Classic or the 3D..

Me:  Laughing out loud....Classic <boy do I feel old>

Cameron:  Naugh I like the one with rudolph and the the island of misfit toys

Me: thinking<what the heck is that..  Oh well I didnt want to watch stupid Rudolph anyway :-)

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

There 3 more questions from step.. http://journals.aol.com./poetmom1968/TheRedhead/

 If you could anywhere in the world, an all expense paid vacation for a week, where would you go?

A cruise or somewhere tropical
2) When was the last time someone (outside of your family) did something nice for you?

My friend Michaela

 And what was it they did?Gave me all her old christmas decorations which were beautiful
3) What is your all time favorite movie?

Humm thats a hard one...I'm not a big movie watcher but I liked

Somewhere in time with christopher reeves

warming those buns

OOOhhhhhh....... how I am loving having a car that's not over 10 years old..

sometimes I forget I have a newer car......  it has only been a week since I got it.....brain cells are slow on the uptake...

I open the door to the garage and go ........Oh yeah that's right I have a new car   un hu un hu un hu <doing the happy dance><Not literally new acutally 2002 but new to me so that counts right>

Whats so special about my car?  Glad you asked!!!

IS it because I look so good driving it???  NOPE

Is it because it so nice and silvery???  NOPE

Is its because everything smells so clean??? NOPE

Is it because it acutally runs beyond 1st gear hummmm well thats a plus put nope wrong again.....

It's because are you ready.........Drum Roll please

IT HAS HEATED SEATS!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it...... a dang bun warmer I love it....I didn't even know it had that when I bought it....I really didnt care what extras it had because being a used car I knew...... what I got was what I got.......

I was just happy with a car from this century:-)

yepper ree....My buns are nice and toasty all I have to do is hit a button and in 30 second volia!!! Toasted buns <minus the butter> HA!!!...

Ya know I didnt know how warming your butt could make the rest of you feel so warm....SO I am a happy women warm butt and all    NOW  one more thing..........

Do you think if I crank that baby on high it would burn the fat cells off my A@@ :-)  Hey ..........it was worth a try....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok more questions......

Comment from: luvinmythreeboyz
"1. What is your worst fear?

hum I would think drowning is my worst fear.....Because if your trap under water holding your breath you know the next breath you take will be water and if you dont take a breath you will die also so there is no way out...Does this make sense?

2. What is your biggest regret in your life?

Not living my dreams instead I listen to others and lived like I thought they wanted me to or what was expected of me..

3. What are you most proud of yourself for?

My ability to love people and see the beauty in them even when they dont see it in themselves

~ Heather"

 

more 3 question

questions from celeste  her journal is mydayandthoughts

"1. What is your favorite cartoon?

hum you didnt say at what age  Ha!!!..when I was a kid I loved the Jetsons

2. How old were you when you got your first real kiss?

16 or 15

3. You are given the choice of being bald or having bright green hair for the rest of your life..... which would you choose?"

Green hair I could always die it another color with no hair your stuck unless you buy wigs hummm well I think I would still go with green hair....;-)

donna In TEXAS

3 questions

Thank you Judith for being the first to ask me 3 questions

everyone should check out Judith's artwork very beautiful.

Judith HeartSong

http://hometown.aol.com/judithheartsong/myhomepage/index.html

 

1. What is the funniest thing you have ever seen in your life?

wow only one?? when my sister and I were in elementary school we move into the country. Rumour had it that the next door neighbor had a mean dog so we were scared..Late that night my dad made my sister and I go out to the moving van to get something out..My sister thought she would be a smart ass and scare me..She said wooo I hear that dog and she started running for the door of our mobile home...Welllll the front door was a sliding glass door that my mom had closed a few minutes before my sister decided to pull her little stunt,,,,SHe was ahead of me and ran up the three steps and BAMMMM ran flap dap into the glass door...She hit it so hard she bound about 2 feet into the air missed all the steps and landed on her ass in the grass.... I started laughing so hard I actually started to cry...Servers her right the spoilt little turd  :-) To this day all I have to say to her is woooo that big dog is coming and she starts laughing......
2. What person (living or dead) has been your greatest inspiration?

My friend CECY ...Watching her die of breast cancer at 32 with such bravery and strength. Never heard her once ask why me or complain...I wrote a entry in my journal about her back in october but I dont know how to link back sorry
3. What is your favorite treat?

It changes but most likely anything with cream country gravy all over it :-)  Puts a new meaning to lard Ass  Ha!!!!!

whaaaa I'm tick

 

So kids and I are at home...not feeling well...      Zachary has a runny nose and sore throat...Cameron has headache and sore throat...and me  I feel like my head is a overblown balloon...

I just medicate the boys so I figure in 15 minutes they will be sleeping ZZZZZZZZ.

I probably could of sent them to school but why infect everyone elses kid....... plus when I was a single mom I didn't always have the option to stay home with my child.

Hope everyone is having fun shopping for there christmas...I still havent shopped....... I work better under pressure :-)

I'm too ADD if I have too much time and too much to choose from I freak and can't choose....If I have 2 days and a limited supply I just pick and dont antalize it to death..Yeap I'm weird....

 

I'm so enjoying my car its such a relief to have a car that runs and has a good heater. I'm so thankful that God watched over us as we looked. We could not of afforded this car brand new and to find a used one in such a good shape is a blessing.

I told my husband the other night

Me: Thanks so much for my car its such a relief

husband:  You deserve it..I'm happy if momma's happy

ME:  Whatever you goofball

Husband:  Thanks for being my wife

Me: awwhh honey that so sweet <smile>

ok I'm game

This is probably making it’s rounds, I found it at Heather’s.

 

So, here’s a chance for some fun, I think.

 

And maybe I’ll get some of my more quiet readers to speak out.

 

I’d like everyone to ask me three questions, no more no less.

Ask me anything, and I will answer.

 

Then, play along by asking your readers to do the same with you.

 

Okay, bring on the questions…

 

                                           

I copied this from danielle's journal  Everybody knows...  I liked her font....but I have seen it on many other journals including heathers

ps dont ask unless you want to know wink wink nudge nudge

Donna InTEXAS

Happy birthday Landon

Yes I remember Dec. 14 1981 4:30 am so very well......

My first son was born and I was barely 20.....but I thought I was so grown up Ha!!!! I was laying on the labor and delivery bed by myself because back in those days no one could come back to see you....yep there were no tvs ....telephones.... anything in the room just you the walls and the pain.....Did I mention pain.....Now I'm no dummy and I knew it would hurt but this was beyong pain this felt like something inside of me was trying to kill me HA!!!! <now remember I was only 20>

My husband at the time was there with me but sleeping in the chair which only added pissed off to the pain I was having...

I thought I would have this baby natural nothing to it.....Well I changed my mind quick so after several hours of labor and dilating to an 7 I received an epidural aaahhhhh!!!  Now thats more like it .....kicking back sleeping letting nature take place without pain.

He came out in all his glory and I remember thinking yuk he isnt very cute and I dont feel anything but relief what is wrong with me...:-)  Yep did I mention 20 and a little dumb...

nevertheless I grew to love this cute little rolly polly and we basically grew up together......

Now my baby is 23  dang it 23  were have the years gone....In some ways I feel badly that I dont remember alot of his childhood because it was a struggle raising him and growing up myself...

I wish I could of done so many things differently but I was young and dumb myself ....so I did the best with what I had to work with..

of course there were things I did do well ...........

So Landon I just want to say I Love you sugar bear......you came into my life and blessed me like no other person ever could....

For so many years it was me and you kiddo.....I love that you are grown and I grieve that you are grown not a sad grieve just knowing that those years have gone and time moves on.....You have grown into a fine young man I'm proud of you.....

Thank you for allowing me to be your mom....and loving me . I look forward to sharing the many changes you will have in your life.

hugs and kisses

 

All my love,

MOM

cute pictures

Saw these pictures on Just one girls head noise journal and had to share..This is one hungry baby:-)

YOu want me to eat that

 

Still feel like jet lag working deep nights at the hospital.....

Next week no hospital work so yeah...

Husband wanted to go to the mall this afternoon...I really didnt want to go but what the hey....Big crowds and screaming crying children crammed in a room isnt my cup of tea....gee I must be getting old

I cant really enjoy shopping trying to avoid being run over by strollers or people walking forward but looking backward...WEll you know what I mean.

I ran into a friend of mines daughter....I remember when she was in 6 grade and now here she is with a 2 year old....I really was feeling old and dumpy Ha!

Tryed to see santa clause the line was way too long  no not for me for the boys.....

WEll. came home thought I would journal hop for a while dear husband comes in and conversation goes like this

Randy: Honey do you want some supper?

Me: not really babe I'm not hungry thanks anyway

Randy: its really good

Me:no thanks maybe later you go ahead and eat.

about 15 minutes go by and dear husband is chowing down

ME:that smells really good honey

Randy: you want me to make you a plate?.

Me: what did you cook?

Randy: Sausage and baked beans..I'll bring you a plate

Randy:You want beans also?

Me:  Welll,,my question to you is do YOU want me to eat beans...because you know you wont like me much later..

Randy:chuckles and says well I ate beans also you better eat some just to save yourself HA!

Donna :Ok give me some just do say I didnt warn you

 

Dude where is my car?

So glad to have a day off....

Randy the kids and I decide to go get groceries at Wal Mart.

Walmart wasnt too crowded which is not usual for a weekend.

I'm still dragging a little from working deep nights...kids are a whinning dont touch me.stop looking at me..the usual 

stuff..

so anyway while were checking out I tell hubby that I will take the kids to the car because they are being a pain and I figure the walk will maybe calm them down.....So we walk out and I immedialty realize I don't remember were we parked the car...

Cameron<mister know it all> says mom we parked on the other side so...we go sashing across the parking lot all the while I'm thinking now was my car light silver blue or silve.r..???? I have had it one day so the memory is a little hazey.

Well..... we found every passat in the parking lott but ours even a few jettas...I'm looking quite the fool clicking my remote hoping the car beeps...The kids are running around going over here mom here it is

 

nope not even close is was a beemer...had to go into the whole lecture of different types of cars to the kids HA!....

Meanwhile evertime the kids ran to a car someone thought we were leaving and was stalking us hoping to get a parking place.

FINALLY..I said boys I think you guys are wrong lets go to the other side and sure enough there is was  but no Randy....

I thought on no he has had enough time to find the car I wonder if he is running around like us with the groceries.

SO I hop in the car and decide to take off to look for him....

I make a loop and see him going to were the car was..... and of course its gone....He has a funny look on his face..I honk and he gets in

I said sorry we got lost ...where are the groceries honey?  He said I all ready put them in the trunk ...I put them in andwent to look for you guys when I got out and saw the car was gone I thought oh no I put the groceries in somebody elses car and they took off with my goroceries.../..... We both laughed.....

 

I said Randy you wouldnt have the keys to someone else's car he says you never know...He is such a goober....

 

Donna In TEXAS

isnt she pretty

There she is in all her beauty

 

I have a car that actually runs <sigh> I got a volkswagon passat 2002 and I love driving it..We didnt spend a lot of money so that's even better..My wonder ful husband gave up his jetta and got himself a cheaper car a acura rsx 2002 for him to drive to and from work...His car is cute kind of a guys car..I feel so much better having a car that I know will run  hewwwwww!!!

Got to leave for work just wanted to show her off....

My poor 93dodge daravan putted into the dealship in all her glory...

I sure she is going to the scrap heap...but he rduty is over.

 

Good bye little van rest in piece  opp I mean peace..pardon the pun Ha!

 

Donna In TEXAS

Yawwwwnnnn

Good moring to all..well it's really afternnoon but I worked last night

and came home went striaght to bed.....

I went to the Dr yesterday to get a refill on some meds..got a flue shot

my arm feels like I have had a frogg match....Your remember when you were young and you and your sibiling would frogg each others arm...oh well maybe you don't nevertheless it's sore...

My mom is on vacation next week which means she will be back in Wichita Falls at her house the whoooolllleeee week....Yehaw!!!

Sounds tacky but I like having my house to myself with my family.....and I'm sure she will enjoy being in her own domain..

Well the car is still puting along in 1st gear so I drive slow and people cuss me as they pass :-)....I'm just happy I get 1st gear.

This weekend we are going to look for me a car....Not sure what I will get..right now all I want is one with a engine that works Ha!!!

I dont think I want another minivan ......although I like sitting up high when in traffic...I would love a honda I am a honda person but I'm sure they will be too high in price.

My husband said he would trade his car in and drive something cheaper so we could have 2 decent cars...I know he is a good guy...couldnt tell it on my deleted entry....

I'm typing this at our library which has the fastest computers alive...they could part your hair with there speed...:-)

I apologize for my entries having little graphics I havent had time to download new ones since the laptop crashed....

 

I hate to admit this but I will and we just let this be our little secret....sshhhh

something is going on with me mentally and I can't put my finger on it....I'm having alot of panic feelings and a undercurrent of sadness.

I have been so proud to be off my antidepresants since june..and doing quite well...until last week....

I know working at the hospital makes me a little anxious because it is the hospital I had my gastric bipass surgery at..sooo I'm thinking perhaps it brings back those scared feelings I felt laying there in that room thinking I was going to die and noone would be with me...I had some complications and being I had hospital experence..I was aware that with the vital signs and pain and stuff something wasnt right with me.

Not to mention one of the nurses I had was on drugs and had to be escorted out of the building the night he took care of me..yeakks

I remember I was so scared I looked at him and said your not going to let me die are you..I mean it I wasnt joking... Well I'm off to pick up the kids at school and go makes some plano drivers mad by going 30 miles and hour  HE HE!!

Love from Texas

Donna in Texas

Quick hello

I'm sorry for the confusion but I deleted the last entry....I felt it was very angry and bitter.......Just got off at kohl's my boss changed my hours to days so no more nights except at the hospital ocassionally...that will help a lot...If the days don't work I will quit after christmas....My family is more important than ending up in the corner rocking like a psychotic zomie...

I very tired havent slept yet couldnt sleep today after I got off work this morning..I got a couple of winks at work last night but not restful or very long....

Husband is looking into getting me a car..meanwhile the 93  van sits in the driveway in all its dead glory:-)

I lost all my graphic when My computer crashed so when I have time I will download somemore.....

Hope everyone has a great christmas...

Donna In TEXAS