Day two: sitting at my desk today....
and I get a strong feeling in the pit of my stomach.....
This feeling of I hate this job and what the Hell am I doing here.......
I dont have to work we can scrap by if I quit but I keep telling myself give it time Donna ...
Why can't I be happy just being a stay at home mom why do I feel I should work to feel validated...What am I afraid of???
I'm so stupid!!!!!
These people expect me to work 10 to 12 hour days eat at my desk working 60 plus referralswith no training are they nuts...
Maybe the title business has always been this way who knows....
I want to go in and quit but I feel bad...I shouldnt but I do...
I like my boss he is a nice guy...... but dang I have a family..I expected 8 hours a day but working 8:am-7:pm no break..eat at your desk. work every second of every minute.and then the commute home...
What was I thinking and why do I feel bad about this???
I will see how my day tomarrow goes
Donna
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6 comments:
You might feel guilty because our current culture insists that everybody be productive in a way that can be measured with a paycheck. Some really important work like thinking, volunteering, creating and -- yes--raising children can't be measured so directly. You're not stupid!! You're aware of the conflict. I wish you all the best in resolving it in a way that will give you peace. Russ
Your kids need you! If you work twelve hours a day, when will you see them? And if you're working at a job you hate, what will you be like when you are home? Here's hoping you come up with a solution... quickly!
Sounds like you're just as independent as I am. Someone who has always taken care of herself? It feels foreign to be a stay at home mom and not having an outside job too? I felt so confused and worthless that I actually became depressed! I had thoughts of "what if my hubby leaves me?"...even though I knew he wouldn't and we were just fine. I worked thru it and feel fine being a stay at home mom. We have to watch our pennies too but all is well. I'm all for you being a stay at home mom.:) Enjoy your kids because they'll be old enough soon to take care of themselves, it goes so fast. And then you can find a job.:)
Steph
I was never sorry to be a stay at home Mom. After school I knew where my kids were, I was able to be a Brownie leader and go to PTA meetings in the afternoon. I was in attendance when my daughters were inducted into The National Honor Society etc. People will try to put you on that guilt trip, don't let them do it. They will be out of the nest before you know it and you will be glad you were there with them. Paula
I think the alerts have been messed up.
I'm wishing you the best as you adjust to the full time working world. I also have thoughts of returning and can't seem to jump back into it. I know how you feel. Things will either start to run a little smoother or you will realize that it's just not for you and your family. Good Luck.
Michele
http://journals.aol.com/samnsmile5/LettingItAllSinkIn
I hope it gets better! :\ But if it doesn't, I don't think you should feel bad at all for not wanting to be there. It means you're smart. You're figuring out what it sometimes takes people weeks..months if not years to discern. :)
~tara
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