HAppy Pills

ok I'm really digging these corti slim wanna be pills I'm taking of my husbands...

They have helped my appetite tremendously but most of all my depression is virually gone..

How do these things make you feel happy..beats me...

I have an appt with a psychiratrsit sp?? on June 1..

I already filled out the forms guess I need to stop taking the happy pills so he can see the full blow me the sadness that eats away at me ...

Last night when we were at dave and busters...I was sitting at the table alone..I dont play games <arcades>I can't enjoyed dropping money in a slot and not getting something that I can't take home with me yep I'm werid that way..I dont like gambling...when I give someone my money I want something in return...if I'm not getting something in return then I might as well drive down the street and throw my money out the window...

Ok back to the subject...This really pretty woman walks by and in my head I think wow she sure is pretty and then I think and boy I look like shit right now...

Turns out that girl is engaged to this guy we know <we found this out later on in the evening>

So we were driving home and I asked my husband

<girls you know what I about to ask....the dreaded question..>

Honey didnt you think that girl was beautiful??

Honestly I dont care if he thinks so because I truly thought she was pretty and I like to know what men think..

My husband say she was ok..

I said ok???... I dont think so

I looked at him and said I'm sorry I havent been looking nicer for you..

He said I love you no matter how you look..<this is true he has loved me fat skinney etcc.. and has never said in 10 years a thing about my looks>

I said It makes me mad I should be a better wife..

He is quite and I push him for an answer

NOw my husband is a man of few words and it is hard to get him to talk sometimes but when he does talk....its meaningful

He said you piss me off...

I said what??

He said.You piss me off because you put yourself down to much donna you a good person and you beat yourself up with your own words..

I just sat there stund...

I said your right I do

He said I wish you could see what other people see in you..you have alot to offer your a great mother and wife and I love you..

I just sat there...

what could I say I'm my own worse enemy