A few hours after my son and his girlfriend left my house I was reading this book I have had for a while called Fearless living by Rhonda Britton.
Some of you may know her from starting over tv program so this last
paragraph went like this..............................
When was the last time you blamed someone for something? Did you think you had the 'right"to blame? How did it feel justified? Did others agree with you? If you're like most people, several instances will come to mind. Perhaps your spouse did something that upset you. Maybe your best friend let you down. Maybe you are unsure if you blame. A good indication is if you use "If only..." in your vocabulary. But one thinking is certain: In order to blame someone, you must have had an expectation that the person"should" have done something differently. Unfortunately, expectations will always leave you feeling out of control and on your Wheel of Fear. That's a guaranteed.
When you assume others can read you mind and know what you need, you are setting them up for the future blame. In truth, no one else is responsible. You are the only one who is responsible
As I read the last sentence I thought to myself about the visit I had with my son and girlfriend...
I guess I did have expectations.....maybe thats why I felt kind of blah when they left...I felt like a stranger to my son....He was different somewhat
maybe because we argued last month I dont know...
I expected her to try to like me..to talk to me or get to know me.... was I wrong to expect ?? maybe....maybe she is shy or afraid..I never ask her maybe I should of said something...I felt uncomfortable
First impressions are hard...Maybe I scared her who knows what stuff my son has said to her in anger about me...
My First impression is I didnt like her but then I stop and think..that's not really fair.... Maybe she didnt like me but do I really care...I don't know....
I don't really and then I do...He is my son for life and I always wanted a great daughter- n- law since I dont have any girls
Expectations I guess we all have them...
So I expect for now I will feel indifferent.....
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2 comments:
I think that quote is a very good one. But, unfortunately, we all blame others for things. It's how we are. At least your son came over to visit with you with his girlfriend! That's a step in the right direction. I am sure she was feeling a bit of stress because she has only heard his end of the story. Just keep being yourself and eventually she will form her own opinion of you. I do hope that awkwardness goes away with your son though. That is the worst feeling in the world!
Hugs and love, Lisa
I was the same when I first met my Mother in Law, I was so shy and quiet!! Little did I know that that's what she liked about me, hubby's first wife had been so outgoing and forward, she didn't like her at all! First meetings are difficult, hopefully if your son is with this girl for a while you will get to know each other over time. My Mother in Law is lovely, it took me a long time to feel comfortable with her, but I love her to bits now :o)
Sara x
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