The Interview

Kelly over at Green olives and pickle juice started this interview thing so I ask her to ask me 5 questions..Here they are

http://journals.aol.com/happysunshien/GreenOlivesPickleJuice/

Donna's Interview

1.  What would you do if anything to improve the relationship between you and your oldest son?

I would love to have counseling with just me and him..Get all the crap out and work on it...a lot of it he doesn't understand because he is young as we age things become more clear as to why parents do what they do...our parents are not really has we see them as children....  all god like but simply humans that are vunerable and mess up like everybody else..I think if we could sit down with a 3rd party and he could talk about stuff that has been stored inside of him concerning his dad and I..He might feel better..He was only a year old when his dad and I divorced...I have told Landon that he is smarter than I was at his age because he hasnt brought a child into the world while he is trying to figure his life out..I try to tell him when he makes a mistake that he is just growing up and things  happen...I tell him that his momma was his age once and made some of the same mistakes its just that I had a child to take care of also..

2. How different is it raising a "second family" after having a grown son?  Is it harder?  Easier? What would you do differently?

Well actually its easier I think in some ways and harder also..Some days I sit and think by the time I get the last two boys raised I will have raised kids for 40 years or so...I get more scared about the world and them living in it..I also know how fast they grow up you blink and they are grown.....That's when you really realize how much you miss of there younger days....

AS for me

I'm a much better mother..more patient...kinder....loving and I have

more of a overall general appreciation of what being a mother really is....I really devote myself to them..I dont party or go out or spend much time with anyone except my family.... I do have my me time on ocassion but overall my time is devoted to them..Its a big job teaching them how to grow to be production adults..compassionate..caring..

I have learn big time that children are great at watching our actions

and if our words and actions don't match they pick up on it...

they model what they lived with...

3.  How hard has it been for you to be the stay at home mom instead of the sole breadwinner single mom?

Honestly its not the staying home part that bothers me its the vuneralbility of depending on someone to provide for me...You see my mom always ingrained in me don't trust men they will leave you..

Now I realize being older that it was a time after her and dad had divorce and she was scared and maybe she thought she was helping me I dont know...I just remember her falling apart because her whole life had been my dad..I watched her cry it was hard..I thought I never wont to be in her posistion...I dont blame my parents for divorcing...I guess I feel why would someone want to love me all my life and never leave...I'm sure iyala on starting over would pick me apart on this one HA!!I have always been very independant and didnt like answering to anyone also.... 

4.Is there anything you would change about your relationship with your "Addams family" inlaws?  Besides moving them across the country?

 I wish I could be closer to them but I can't it's not safe emotionally...I'm not the only one who feels this way alot of the family feels this way with randys mom...I truly thinks its a imbalance in hormones or depression..If she would take medication I think we would see a different person....Honestly its a lost cause ...we have been together 10 years and nothing has change except that its worse....There is definetly mental illness in that family...very sad

5.  Anything you would change about your relationship iwth Landon's father?

Hum not really..We have a ok realtionship..We we only married for a year...And we felt forced to get marry..I dont think we ever really loved each other as husband and wife...I have more of a problem with his wife than him....When its just me and him we get along fine but when his wife gets in the picture things change...His wife is very controling and I think after being married to her for 20 years he has just decided to accept it and not fight it....

Now that my son is grown it has gotten much better in fact I havent talk to my x in over a year and before that maybe once a year..Its a big change than from seeing him every other weekend..

So there you have it..Hope I didnt bore you lol